Monday, May 28, 2007

Humility Prayer

Oh Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me.
- From the desire of being esteemed...Deliver me Jesus
- From the desire of being loved...
- From the desire of being extolled...
- From the desire of being honored...
- From the desire of being praised...
- From the desire of being preferred to others...
- From the desire of being consulted...
- From the desire of being approved...
- From the desire of being humiliated...
- From the fear of being despised...
- From the fear of suffering rebukes...
- From the fear of being calumniated...
- From the fear of being forgotten...
- From the fear of being ridiculed...
- From the fear of being wronged...
- From the fear of being suspected...
- That others may be loved more than I...Jesus grant me the grace to desire it
- That others may be esteemed more than I...
- That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease...
- That others may be chosen and I set aside...
- That others may be praised and I unnoticed...
- That others may be preferred to me in everything...
- That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should...
Dear Lord Jesus, teach me humility

This is a hard prayer. I've been saying it for three weeks now and the Lord has been showing me my pride left and right. It's gotten to the point where every moment I hear a voice saying "that's pride there...and there...and there. Oh, you think you're doing sooo well at pointing out pride! Guess what that is..."

As I was posting this I began to wonder if keeping a blog was a form of pride...of course it is. I think my thoughts are so great that someone might want to read them. Then I thought, no one reads my blog anymore! If anything this is an exercise in humility!

Well, I'll keep posting, perhaps in the future the Lord might guide someone to the site and work through me without my knowledge to help them. :) Not pride right? Of course not ;)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Suffering and Healing

A year ago I left my apartment and town I love to move back to my parent's house. It was mostly to continue my discernment process, but I also wanted to help out with a crisis there. Well now, a year later, I'm back in the town I left. I came down for a visit and the Lord arranged things so that I had to stay another week...then another...and now I live here again. It's strange being back, but a relief and a blessing.

The situation at my parent's house was tough. They are being persecuted and abused by a legal system that is out for blood. I kept thinking how I needed to help them, I needed to save them, I didn't realize the damage that I was doing to myself. I wasn't doing the Lord's will at my parent's house anymore, and I was starting to spiral out of control.

So now I'm seeking healing, for that is what I've been told I need to do. The more I live here the more I see it too. I don't know down what path the Lord is leading me, but I'm learning to trust that Love and Peace is the destination.

I figure a new phase deserves a new color scheme and layout. The header picture is a crop of a larger digital images from www.moodflow.com. Since it's someone else's artwork, I feel it's proper to site it ;)